By Robert McCormick GUEST COLUMNIST
When I think of what it means to be human, this quote from Viktor E. Frankl resonates: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
The “space” that Frankl is referring to is liquid gold and takes on many different forms: kindness, calmness, generosity, patience and empathy. It is the grease in the wheels of society. There are millions of everyday simple human interactions where “space” makes all the difference. It could be a critical conversation with a coworker on addiction struggle or as simple as a friendly Montana wave as a stranger drives by on a narrow country road.
Despite the vast physical space surrounding Big Sky, it can be challenging to consistently cultivate our mental and emotional space. We are still connected to the world at large, being inundated with instant messaging, 24-hour breaking news and an endless number of notifications that keep us on constant alert. Add in the pressures of adulting: housing, finances, raising kids, politics, work, staying healthy and eating right, and it often feels like we can barely keep our heads above water.
What’s the solution to creating more “space”? How do we do better? In any given self-help book, you’ll find the usual suspects for improving your personal health: Exercise more, meditate daily, express gratitude, spend time in nature, etc.—all of these things can and will help boost your energy and overall wellbeing, but the one thing that trumps them all is getting consistent, quality sleep.
Forming good sleep habits
Matthew Walker, PHD and author of the New York Times bestselling book “Why We Sleep” says it best: “The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.” Quality sleep is the one thing that makes the biggest influence on our overall physical and emotional health.
What constitutes a good night’s sleep? It varies slightly with age, with most children sleeping nine to 10 hours. Teens require eight to 10 hours of sleep per night, and adults should be sleeping between seven and nine hours a night. Keep in mind, that this is hours of actual sleep per night; lying in bed watching TV or doom scrolling doesn’t count.
Are you getting your eight hours of sleep, but still not feeling like you’re on top of your game? Worse yet, are you giving it everything you’ve got but still coming up short? If you are consistently relying on caffeine to fuel your day, the quality of your sleep is likely to blame. The next step to becoming a sleep savant is set yourself up for consistent, continuous quality sleep.
During the night, we cycle through four stages of sleep. Stage one and stage two are considered light sleep, as our bodies prepare to enter a deeper slumber. Stage three is known as slow-wave sleep, when the body carries out repairs and growth. Finally, stage four or rapid eye movement sleep is when we dream. Each one of these cycles lasts roughly 90 minutes and we cycle through these four stages about four to five times each night.
For now, don’t get caught up in the details of each stage of sleeping. Just know that in order to optimize each sleep cycle and wake up feeling energized, consistency and continuity are key.
Quality sleep is a non-negotiable priority for happiness. Like anything worth pursuing, it’s going to take some effort to get there. Think in terms of sleep hygiene. Just like brushing your teeth each day, a good night of quality sleep will have you waking up feeling minty fresh and ready to take on the day.
Simple action steps might look something like this.
Maintain a regular sleep schedule. This will take some time and energy to perfect, but it will pay dividends in both the short term and long term. Build your daytime and nighttime routines around your sleep schedule; remember this is a priority—it is more important than anything else. Your family, friends and coworkers will eventually thank you for the work you are doing on yourself.
Create a restful environment. Your bedroom (or wherever you sleep) should be as dark as possible; black out any LED light from electronics, thermostats and phones. In fact, charge your phone in a different room if possible. It will reduce temptation to scroll while you try to get to sleep. Experiment with the air temperature in the room; preferences vary from person to person, but somewhere in the mid-60’s Fahrenheit is ideal.
Avoid a few things before bed. Avoid alcohol altogether when possible, but at the very least stop drinking alcohol at least two to three hours before you go to sleep. Alcohol may get you to fall asleep quickly, but you’ll be less likely to sleep through each sleep stage efficiently. Your REM sleep stage will be affected the most. Avoid screens, especially scrolling through emails, news, and social media. The blue light isn’t helping you fall asleep, but more importantly, the stimulation of all that online content will get your mind racing, making it more difficult to wind down. Lastly, give yourself an hour or two in between your last meal of the day and when you plan to fall asleep.
The impact of a good night’s sleep goes well beyond feeling refreshed each morning. In the short term, sleep helps regulate emotions. Insufficient rest can lead to increased irritability, anxiety and mood swings making it challenging to handle stress effectively. For example, think of those days where everyone in your path is getting under your skin. When you’re in the middle of that, ask yourself: how did I sleep last night? Maybe it’s you, not them.
Stressors are always around us—all day, every day. Feeling overwhelmed? Work on your sleep schedule. Quality sleep supports a healthy stress response. Well-rested individuals are more resilient to stressors, while sleep deprivation can heighten feelings of stress and overwhelm.
In the long term, there is a strong correlation between sleep disturbances and mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. Consistent poor sleep can exacerbate symptoms of these conditions, creating a cycle that can be difficult to break.
Spoiler alert: there will be challenges. Do you work night shift? Do your neighbors party too hard? Maybe your roommate snores too much? Kids can’t sleep, so you can’t sleep? But if you make sleep a priority, you’ll find way to work through these situations. Don’t aim for perfection, aim for progress.
Good sleep hygiene can help anyone become a better human. It is the perfect place to start your wellness journey. Quality sleep is the gateway drug to being comfortable with discomfort. If you’re not 100% sure what to do with yourself right now, then work on your sleep. Pursue becoming the happiest, kindest, most healed, most present, confident version of yourself. We are all on this journey together. We will do better; we will create space for ourselves and everyone we encounter.
To explore the topic in more detail please read Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, by Matthew Walker, PHD.
Robert McCormick is the Culinary Director at the Yellowstone Club. Around the community he volunteers as a Wellness Navigator, leads Holistic Emotional First Aid sessions, and is an active member of the Be Well Big Sky Leadership Council.
