By Andy Nagel EBS COLUMNIST
Adulting has been the main theme of my summer so far, and I haven’t been accessing my outlets as much as I’d like. Reflecting on what I envisioned for my 2024 summer, I saw lots of mountain biking, weekend backpack trips, kayaking, golfing, photography and fishing. Experiencing those visions fueled my stoke levels.
Unfortunately, by mid-July, I wasn’t getting after it as much as I’d like, or at all. One day, I began to ruminate on a wasted summer, time I’d never get back because I’m getting older, opportunities missed, skills I’d never gain, my weaknesses, the unknowns and what-ifs, and a lot more.
“I blew it, summer feels like it’s over,” I said to myself. My anxiety felt like it was inching toward overdrive, and a downward spiral was imminent. I began to recognize my catastrophizing thoughts and used cognitive behavioral therapy to put them at bay.
Although I’m still immersed in a copious amount of adulting and not really getting after it, I’ve been able to maintain a regulated central nervous system, embrace the reality of it all, go with the flow, be happy and choose joy.
How is your summer going? Is it going exactly the way you envisioned? If your answer is no, rest assured—you are not alone. Every time I voice this struggle to those in my bubble, we discover our commonalities in navigating this struggle. Discovering I’m not the only person enduring this challenge has brought some peace of mind. Many people go through this every season, and everyone handles it differently. Leaning into your support network is a great start to moving in the direction of a joyful summer.
Experiencing challenges that cause us to deviate from our intended path is normal in navigating human experiences. Unfortunately, life isn’t easy. As we flow from one season to the next, what happens when we’re faced with unexpected challenges? Especially challenges that drag out for days, weeks or months? Are we equipped with proper tools and thought processes to endure and overcome? Or do we isolate and criticize ourselves, dwell on the past, and embody “I’m over it” as a personal motto? It’s ok to not be ok. However, settling into less-than-ideal situations and patterns of thoughts is not. Have you found yourself giving up on summer? If so, let’s identify and deal with those thoughts. Proper preparation and consistent practice for when this happens can help prevent downward spirals.
When outcomes we hope for don’t match results, we’re often very critical of ourselves and the situation in a way that doesn’t match reality. I’ve let the walls come down around me while attaining skills and experience that require error and failing forward to improve. Have you ever called yourself an idiot for not knowing how to do something? Or ruled yourself incapable after trying something new, and not being good at it the first time? This is called catastrophizing, a cognitive distortion that involves exaggerating difficulties or believing a situation is worse than it is, or imagining the worst possible outcome of an action or event. Identifying catastrophizing is the first step to prevent it from getting worse.
My favorite tool to deal with catastrophizing is cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT helps people gain control over their thoughts, feelings and behaviors by identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts, and replacing them with more realistic and positive ones. I was introduced to CBT and catastrophizing while enrolled in the Department of Veterans Affairs’ 30-day residential treatment program. My circle of vets and I held each other accountable for catastrophizing with a simple statement: “CBT those thoughts!”
You do not have to seek a medical professional or system to access cognitive behavioral therapy. Start by looking it up online, in bookstores and libraries. Start the conversation by asking others if they know about CBT. Utilizing CBT on a daily basis aids in skillful in-the-moment responses.
Recognizing catastrophizing, and utilizing CBT also aids in maintaining a regulated central nervous system. Your CNS is best when it’s regulated and at rest. It yields a better version of yourself—that centered you that’s in the zone, keeping things cruisy and chill as you navigate one moment to the next. It’s important to tune in with your CNS. Besides cognitive behavioral therapy, many other tools are available to deal with catastrophizing. They include breathing exercises, vagal toning, charts methodically placed in locations to remind ourselves to check in and positive affirmations.
So if you think you’re totally blowing it this summer, and are ready to give up on your season, before you say you’re “over it,” consider that you might be catastrophizing. If so, then I recommend you CBT those thoughts. Remind yourself of what you have accomplished this season.
You are still here! That is an accomplishment. The exact halfway point of summer is 12 p.m. on Aug. 1 according to the lunar calendar—we’re barely halfway through. There’s plenty of time to experience the joys you yearn for. Take it one moment at a time, along with some deep breaths, and remember that you’re the one who’s in control of your thoughts.
Andy Nagel works at Big Sky Resort. Around the community he volunteers as a Wellness Navigator, leads Holistic Emotional First Aid sessions, and is an active member of the Be Well Big Sky Leadership Council.
