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April Fools: Lone Mountain finally erupts 

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Snow report shows 16 inches of ‘warm-smoke’ ash on Lookout Ridge, two inches elsewhere 

EBS STAFF 

The Big Sky got a little bit bigger as Montana’s largest ski resort lost some vert’ on Monday morning, April 1.  

In a volcanic event unforeseen by even the most experienced volcanologists, Lone Mountain blew its top just after 4:06 a.m. Monday. Investigative drone footage shows that a portion of Lone Mountain’s summit landed directly on the Six Shooter chairlift—which records show became insured just three days prior. The new Lone Peak Tram remains miraculously undamaged, and now offers lava viewing during scenic rides. 

A dusting of ash fell across the region, and as of 8:15 a.m., 23 local freelance photographers have posted dramatic sunrise photos on Instagram. Madison County is reporting zero residents were harmed, although their counting methodology remains unclear. Roads are variable and law enforcement officials have suggested chains for those who have already swapped-in their summer tires or, more likely, never switched to winter tires in the first place. 

“Ain’t nobody got time for that,” one snowplow driver told EBS after abandoning his ash-choked rig in the middle of the crucial intersection of U.S. Highway 191 and Montana Highway 64 (Lone Mountain Trail). Cars traveling toward Bozeman have followed a counterclockwise circle around the truck and—to the surprise of many—traffic flow appears to have improved measurably due to the forced roundabout.

The Yellowstone Caldera “supervolcano” declined to comment, but many have reported that roads inside the park have begun melting and herds of bison have become engaged in a single-elimination basketball tournament.  

EBS will update our readers if any more dramatic yet inconsequential geologic occurrences befall Big Sky on this fateful day, April 1.

This article was fact-checked on Opposite Day.  

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