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From Jackie with love
Published
10 years agoon
Standing in the arena
By Jackie Rainford Corcoran Explore Big Sky Health Columnist
In the summer months, I stay busy painting and teaching art in addition to health coaching. Art is usually relaxing and rewarding, however a recent lesson with a teenage student became very intense.
As the young woman worked on a landscape painting, tears began streaming down her cheeks. I was shocked and concerned. She explained, with anguish in her voice, that her trees were not “perfect.” My heart broke and I wanted to take her pain away. I gently explained that perfectionism is the killer of creativity and that her trees were beautiful. She rejected my words of encouragement.
I drove home thinking about perfectionism while half-listening to an audio book when, surprisingly, the narrator began describing how most humans deal with perfectionism on some level. It made me realize that there are tasks I put off, fearing my own imperfections.
The book is “Daring Greatly” by Dr. Brené Brown. In it, she says perfectionism is not helpful or healthy but actually hinders performance and “keeps us outside the arena.” It’s correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction and a life of paralysis or missed opportunities.
The title of Dr. Brown’s book is taken from a 1910 speech by Theodore Roosevelt, in which he said:
“It is not the critic who counts … Credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … but who does actually strive to do the deeds … who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
Dr. Brown discovered that people often attach their self-worth to how they’re perceived by others. We want to be seen as perfect in order to minimize feelings of shame, judgment and blame. This is incredibly unhealthy as we cannot control other people’s perceptions and, in most areas of life, perfection is simply unattainable.
A healthier mindset is “self-focused.” When we don’t get it just right, instead of negative self-speak and worrying about what others think, we can ask ourselves, “How can I do this better next time?” We can then learn, grow and move on instead of being stuck in shame.
Getting comfortable and accepting our real life stories – the messy ones riddled with imperfections – actually gives us room to flourish. When do you stand outside of the arena? Do you want to live life more fully and dare greatly? If so, check out this book for resources to use on your journey.
Jackie Rainford Corcoran is an IIN Certified Holistic Health Coach, a NASM Certified Personal Trainer, public speaker and health activist. Contact her at jackie@thetahealth.org, or find more at thetahealth.org.
Megan Paulson is the Co-Founder and Chief Operating Officer of Outlaw Partners.
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Bike Big Sky is a FREE community mountain biking group with BSCO and Gallatin Alpine Sports. Meet at posted locations at 6 p.m. Monday evenings. Visit BSCO.org or swing by
Event Details
Bike Big Sky is a FREE community mountain biking group with BSCO and Gallatin Alpine Sports. Meet at posted locations at 6 p.m. Monday evenings. Visit BSCO.org or swing by GAS for ride information.
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July 22 (Monday) 6:00 pm - September 30 (Monday) 6:00 pm
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Hike Big Sky is a FREE guided hike for our community and visitors alike. A different trail will be featured each Monday at 9 a.m. Visit BSCO.org for trail description
Event Details
Hike Big Sky is a FREE guided hike for our community and visitors alike. A different trail will be featured each Monday at 9 a.m. Visit BSCO.org for trail description information. Please wear layers, bring water and snacks. Bear spray recommended.
Time
July 29 (Monday) 9:00 am - September 30 (Monday) 12:00 pm
Event Details
Bike Big Sky is a FREE community mountain biking group with BSCO and Gallatin Alpine Sports. Meet at posted locations at 6 p.m. Monday evenings. Visit BSCO.org or swing by
Event Details
Bike Big Sky is a FREE community mountain biking group with BSCO and Gallatin Alpine Sports. Meet at posted locations at 6 p.m. Monday evenings. Visit BSCO.org or swing by GAS for ride information.
Time
July 29 (Monday) 6:00 pm - October 7 (Monday) 6:00 pm
Event Details
Join Santosha, BASE and Gourmet Gals to bring you a donation based all levels community yoga lunch break class every Wednesday throughout the summer. It will be
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Event Details
Join Santosha, BASE and Gourmet Gals to bring you a donation based all levels community yoga lunch break class every Wednesday throughout the summer. It will be taught by a variety of teachers from Santosha and BASE. This summer all proceeds will go to Big Sky Band-Aid, aside from the first one on the 26th that is happening during Pride week- all funds donated for that class will go to Big Sky OUT. A delicious lunch will also be served by Gourmet Gals following our practice each Wednesday (included in donation). You are welcome to donate with cash at the event or you can Venmo @Santoshabigsky and make a note for Community Yoga. Hope to see you in the Park!
Time
July 31 (Wednesday) 12:00 pm - September 30 (Monday) 1:00 pm
Location
Len Hill Park